I didn't come to the Enneagram through a training or a podcast. I came to it through my mother. She was learning about it in the way she does most things: quietly, not making much of a fuss about it (she's a Nine). She'd go away for a few days and come back different. She never explained much, only occasionally mentioned a teacher named David Daniels or Helen Palmer, and maybe left a book out on the table.
When I first learned about the Enneagram, I was a young theater director. The theater is obsessed with the question of what makes us human, and like the best psychological tools, the Enneagram didn't get distracted by behavior. It spoke to what the great artists have always known, that motivation is a far more interesting inquiry. It gave language to something I believe many of us inherently understand but have difficulty articulating: that our patterns are not who we are. They're just the well-worn paths we've learned to walk.
I've long since left the theater, but I still open every project with an Enneagram training. What I find is that when a group of people starts to look at their stuff together, something shifts. Culture, without much effort, begins to emerge. The room collaborates differently and trusts more deeply. Seeing the humanity of the people around us can do remarkable things for a team.
As I studied the Enneagram more, I began to see others more clearly. I could feel how people moved toward or away from conflict, how differently vulnerability showed up for each of them. I could understand who needed space, who needed structure, who needed softness, who needed the hammer. It shaped not only how I led, but how I listened.
And it helped me see myself more clearly, too. I began to see where I got stuck, what I tended to focus on, and what I tended to miss. Eventually, I saw how my stuff was informing the ways I led, and the ways I got in my own way. With awareness and practice, I started to shift and ultimately found more freedom in my leadership.
When I watch teams at work, I see smart, passionate people stuck in loops. But I've also seen that holding up mirrors for ourselves and each other changes things. People relax the grip of their personality, and as they do, miraculous things happen. They become more available to feedback and more flexible, increase their creativity, have more energy for the things they love doing, and just generally enjoy their lives more.
That's why I lead with the Enneagram. It helps us name the invisible, interrupt what's automatic, and remember what growth is always available. It invites us to become students of what makes us human, to cultivate a kind of inner curiosity, and to take responsibility for creating a culture where we want to live, not just work.